Download E-books Make Something Up: Stories You Can't Unread PDF

By Chuck Palahniuk

Chuck Palahniuk, literature's favourite transgressive writer, offers us twenty-one tales and one novella in Make anything Up, a compilation that disturbs and delights in equivalent measure. In "Expedition," enthusiasts could be delighted to discover to work out a facet of Tyler Durden by no means obvious sooner than in a precursor tale to Fight Club. And in different tales, the absurdity of either lifestyles and dying are on complete demonstrate: in "Zombies," the easiest and brightest of a highschool prep institution develop into tragically hooked on the newest drug craze—electric shocks from cardiac defibrillators; in "Knock, Knock," a son hopes to inform one final off-color funny story to a father in his ultimate moments; and in "Tunnel of Love," a therapeutic massage therapist runs the curious perform of supplying "relief" to demise clients. Funny, caustic, extraordinary, poignant, those tales signify every little thing readers have come to like and count on from Chuck Palahniuk. you are going to always remember them. simply try out.

Show description

Read Online or Download Make Something Up: Stories You Can't Unread PDF

Best Humor books

Thud! (Discworld )

As soon as, in a gods-forsaken hellhole referred to as Koom Valley, trolls and dwarfs met in bloody strive against. Centuries later, every one species nonetheless perspectives the opposite with simmering animosity. in recent years, the influential dwarf, Grag Hamcrusher, has been fomenting unrest between Ankh-Morpork's extra diminutive citizens—a unstable state of affairs made some distance worse whilst the pint-size provocateur is came upon bashed to demise .

Jingo: A Novel of Discworld

It's not a lot of an island that rises up one moonless evening from the depths of the Circle Sea—just a number of sq. miles of silt and a few previous ruins. regrettably, the traditionally disputed lump of land referred to as Leshp is once more floating at once among Ankh-Morpork and the town of Al-Khali at the coast of Klatch—which is spark sufficient to ignite that excellent overseas hobby known as "war.

The Pirates! In an Adventure with Napoleon

After adventures with Charles Darwin, Captain Ahab, and Karl Marx, The Pirate Captain faces off opposed to his toughest—though now not his biggest—challenge but: Napoleon Bonaparte. Bruised from a crushing unhappiness on the Pirate of the 12 months Awards, the Pirate Captain makes a decision that it’s time for a occupation swap.

The Outsorcerer's Apprentice

A contented team, it really is stated, is a effective crew. Mmmm. attempt telling that to a military of belligerent goblins. Or the massive undesirable Wolf. Or a certified dragons layer. who's taking care of their future health? Who supplies a rattling approximately their insupportable operating stipulations, loss of enough medical health insurance, and bad espresso within the canteen?

Extra resources for Make Something Up: Stories You Can't Unread

Show sample text content

Such treason! Their selfishness could doom destiny generations of ten-year-olds to an analogous cycle of harassment and distress. How speedy that they had forgotten, yet chicken used to be resolved to remind them. On Monday, leaning sideways from his table, whispering, chicken proposed, “Friends, allow us to proportion glue in the back of the Dumpster in the course of lunch interval. ” Innocently, they either accredited. as soon as the trio used to be assembled and the paper bag used to be readied, hen graciously allowed his pals to respire the fumes prior to him. whilst Rabbit and Aardvark have been completely wasted, their eyes dilated and their slack lips leaking drool, hen roundly faced them. “I reveal you! ” shouted chicken. He leapt upon the helpless pair, his knees battering Aardvark and his fists pummeling Rabbit. chicken shouted, “The library? The museum? ” He shouted, “Explain yourselves! ” So completely have been his associates incapacitated via the poisonous fumes of glue that chicken may possibly slug and stomp them without resistance. After lunch interval, while pass over Scott nearly wept over the sight of Aardvark’s damaged nostril and Rabbit’s torn ears, the 2 took their seats on the examining desk and advised her to not worry. “I tumbled down a few stairs,” Aardvark acknowledged. “It is the cost I paid for now not pondering extra of others. ” Rabbit stated, “It used to be my very own clumsiness. My ears are a small loss in alternate for a brighter destiny. ” in order that he may perhaps higher mentor his neighbors, hen went begging to overlook Scott, asking that they 3 be billeted within the related foster domestic. pass over Scott championed his request, and shortly chicken, Rabbit, and Aardvark have been sharing an identical bed room, a similar toilet, an analogous brown paper bag. None used to be tempted to go to the library or museum. They hung a calendar at the wall in their room and crossed off the rest days of the college yr. They forgot the variation among Idaho, Iowa, and Ohio. They forgot the adaptation among “repugnant” and “repellant. ” by way of a long way, the main tough objective to which they’d ever aspired used to be not to dwell as much as their huge, immense power, yet they bravely met the problem. It wasn’t effortless, yet they flunked. In summer season tuition they have been pressured to paintings additional difficult not to make any attempt. at the ultimate day of summer season tuition, they watched omit Scott open the drawers of her table and extract photographs…keepsakes…mementos, those she amassed in a cardboard field. whilst her table used to be emptied and the field crammed, she checked out the 3 of them within the another way abandoned school room, and omit Scott stated, “I’ll omit you, subsequent 12 months. ” “We’ve failed at failing,” chicken instructed himself. regardless of all their worst efforts they have been being despatched directly to 6th grade. They’d forfeited their status, their households, their time, and eventually they have been to be shunted to the following grade the place they’d stay on the backside of the insidious pecking order. Oh, such corruption! In that second, Rooster’s anger crushed his love for his instructor. If she cared in any respect she’d by no means graduate them. To hen, it was once visible leave out Scott used to be purely passing her difficulties to a different instructor.

Rated 4.98 of 5 – based on 48 votes