By Auth Rebeka & Cser László & Csüdör Eszter & Renczes Márta
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I used to be the person who used to be going up. I gained every thing. I did all of the exertions to control to be on most sensible. Now, the place am I, less than the frog’s ass. not anyone can pull me up. I driven away each person, my kinfolk, my acquaintances, even my colleagues. i used to be a celebrity in enterprise paintings, and now I’m a star who doesn’t understand what to do with herself. i feel I’m going out. i have to do a little buying simply to remain at my daily life. Thank God I bought domestic, in simple terms with an indication on my vehicle: ‘SLUT’. great. every person is aware that I slept with my assistant. Shameless. i purchased dozens of nutrients. Who understands how lengthy will it take. I’m sober; i must cook dinner a few foodstuff. I huddled issues jointly and ate it. It wasn’t sturdy. yet I’m nonetheless sitting on my sofa, in a large number, at nighttime. I don’t care approximately my corporation now. I can’t do whatever to reserve it; I’ve attempted such a lot of instances. I needed to ship away every person. virtually 2 hundred individuals are unemployed due to me. The blame is on me. I’m jogging round my apartment and that i hold due to the fact join up my motor vehicle. One minute it’s far and wide after which within the different minute it’s long gone. I’m no longer myself. i discovered myself within the toilet trying to find my drugs, then within the kitchen with my vodka. these types of flashings make me burdened. The bottle of my tablets is empty. I’m unable to pay attention. I’m open air, within the rain. I can’t locate my motor vehicle keys. i would like to force clear of this position to the unknown. i need to escape from a lot of these terrible issues taking place to me. i would like to dwell in general, back. I’m using, within the rain. i'm hoping i will be able to get so far as i will be able to. I see that somebody might be following me, yet I’m uncertain. it sort of feels like that its Matt’s vehicle yet I can’t see it safely a result of heavy rain and the fog. I misplaced regulate. the very last thing I take note is that my automobile slipped and the large tree used to be in entrance of me. Then Matt attempted to collect me. I observed his eyes jam-packed with tears and the desire in his eyes. that when this i would switch and every thing can come again to common. yet not anything was once ever general in my existence. half four New half bankruptcy 1 The strain by way of Auth Rebeka expensive Diary, It’s me. back. I’m a piece stressed and that i don’t particularly comprehend what may have occurred to me the day past. i believe humorous myself simply because irrespective of how challenging i'm attempting to be mindful again what I did the day before today, easily I can’t. this sense is eating me and I’m simply considering and considering. It drives me loopy and it starts off hurting. I can’t undergo it anymore. i have to settle down, yet I can’t. i want a few support. i would like whatever. i need anything. i have to have whatever that could support me do away with the insupportable discomfort. i am going to the lavatory and inspect the replicate. i will be able to see a girl who's nonetheless in her yesterday’s outfits and that i can see anything else beside her visual appeal. I see the will which makes her alive and makes her days complete. This hope is none except discovering extra ‘victims’ whom make her chuffed and likewise chuffed no matter if it lasts purely very quickly. She is a predator, a hunter. After having a look myself within the reflect a few few minutes i spotted this can be me and not anything has replaced with my visual appeal, purely there are a few darkish circles lower than my eyes, yet I don’t fairly care approximately them.