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By Gideon Defoe

After adventures with Charles Darwin, Captain Ahab, and Karl Marx, The Pirate Captain faces off opposed to his toughest—though no longer his biggest—challenge but: Napoleon Bonaparte.
Bruised from a crushing unhappiness on the Pirate of the 12 months Awards, the Pirate Captain makes a decision that it’s time for a profession swap. ahead of lengthy, his dependable staff, a lot to their dismay, locate themselves en path to St. Helena, a bleak speck of an island one thousand miles from at any place. however the Captain’s plan for a quiet lifestyles rearing bees is interrupted by way of the arriving of one other customer to the island—the lately deposed Napoleon Bonaparte. Is the island’s twenty-eight mile circumference sufficiently big to comprise of history’s maximum egos? Has the Pirate Captain ultimately met his fit? And who has the simplest hat?  once more, Gideon Defoe has given us an exhilarating, swashbuckling story of lavish tea events, making plans rules, and uncooked political ambition.

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He’s now not rather what you’d led me to expect,’ whispered Jennifer to the pirate in eco-friendly. ‘We’ve discovered one other of these precious life-lessons the following, I assume,’ stated the pirate in eco-friendly, taking a look distraught. ‘I’m simply no longer fairly yes what it's but. ’ yet sooner than the frail outdated guy at the level may well get from now on, a tremendous explosion went off someplace close to the again of the room, followed through the blast of at the very least fifty trumpets and 100 gongs. The viewers twisted around of their seats to determine what used to be happening. status there, wreathed in sea mist, was once a determine so awe-inspiring that no description written down in a e-book may possibly ever do him justice. ‘WHO THE BLAZES IS THAT? ’ roared the determine in a voice that seemed like an entire fleet of ships firing their cannons at a huge sheet of steel. ‘GET OFF MY THRONE! ’ He winked on the viewers, who all cheered as he bounded throughout the auditorium and onto the level in large strides, pausing simply to burst a sizzling water bottle via blowing into it and rip a mobilephone listing in part. The pretend Pirate King quivered in mock terror, yet then stopped quivering as he was once swept up in a single stately hand and thrown physically into the orchestra pit. all people cheered back. the genuine Pirate King flashed the viewers a smile that contained a minimum of as a lot gold because the Crown Jewels of england and Spain prepare. ‘HELLO, PIRATES,’ stated the Pirate King. ‘Hello, Pirate King,’ the pirates yelled again. ‘Now that’s making an entrance,’ whispered Jennifer approvingly. The Pirate King lit a cigar, leaned again in his throne and blew a smoke ring the dimensions of a life-buoy. ‘BY CRIKEY YOU’RE a good BUNCH,’ he boomed. ‘A high-quality, positive, effective BUNCH OF ROGUES, SCALLYWAGS AND NE’ER-DO-WELLS. IT MAKES ME PROUD TO BE YOUR KING. ’ He threw again his head and laughed so difficult that dirt and bits of plaster cascaded from the ceiling. ‘ANY LUBBERS IN? ’ ‘No! ’ chorused the pirates. ‘OF path no longer. WHY, IF A LUBBER was once TO SET FOOT during this corridor, HE’D most likely DROP useless immediate FROM THE SHEER focus of fine, sincere BRINE within the AIR. yet WE’RE no longer right here to discuss LUBBERS. WE’RE right here to provide OUT THE PIRATE OF THE yr AWARD TO the simplest PIRATE. ’ The Pirate King paused for a second to drag an exceptional white shark from in the back of his throne and punch it in part with a fist. a good quantity of shark guts went over the tables on the entrance, yet not one of the viewers minded in any respect. ‘IT’S BEEN a superb yr FOR PIRATING,’ acknowledged the Pirate King, extraordinary a major tone. ‘AND THE 12 months forward is asking much more fascinating. within the COMING MONTHS WE’LL BE LAUNCHING A force TO put off THE caring degrees OF weight problems among THE PIRATE inhabitants. I even have PLANS to minimize future health AND security risks ON PIRATE BOATS, SO I’LL BE trying to find A PIRATE OF THE 12 months WHO will help ME MAKE the area OF PIRATING larger THAN EVER. THIS AWARD ISN’T with regards to THE unending FEASTS AT MY desk OR the feminine COMPANIONSHIP OR THE SASH OR THE LIFETIME offer OF TOOTHBRUSHES. IT’S A place OF actual accountability WITH STUFF TO signal and private APPEARANCES in any respect the head occasions.

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