Download E-books Warped: An Engaging Guide to the Never-Aired 8th Season (Star Trek: The Next Generation) PDF

By Mike McMahan

The legit parody consultant to the unaired 8th season of Star Trek: the subsequent Generation, according to the preferred @TNG_S8 Twitter account from writer Mike McMahan!

In the basement of the Star Trek documents, in the back of cabinets of U.S.S. Enterprise NCC-1701-D types, luggage of wigs, and containers of plastic phasers, sits a dusty cardboard field. inside of is a pile of VHS tapes that comprise never-before-seen episodes and behind-the-scenes photos for whatever actually notable. the area thinks there are just seven seasons of Star Trek: the following Generation, yet there’s yet one more. A secret season.

Actually, not likely. yet that didn’t cease Mike McMahan, author of the parody Twitter account @TNG_S8, from creating a consultant complete of:

genuine* TNG SEASON eight discussion AND IMAGES!
(* back, not likely, in fact. this is often humor. Sorry.)

So provoke your pals and bewilder your enemies along with your newfound wisdom of those very misplaced Star Trek episodes! Engage!

™, ®, & © 2015 CBS Studios, Inc. celebrity TREK and comparable marks and emblems are emblems of CBS Studios, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

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The firm shudders to a whole cease because it moves anything mid-warp. The bridge group falls to their knees, and everybody in Ten-Forward is soaked in faux alcohol and has to alter his or her uniform (which is stressful simply because laundry day was once yesterday). With the starboard nacelle offline, the firm is now drifting in house. The fix team unearths whatever incredible within the nacelle’s hydrogen consumption vent—the physique of a gleaming dolphin. They rush it to a preserving tank arrange for simply this sort of stumble upon, and surprise that it seems so just like an earth dolphin. not like an earth dolphin, even though, this one glows with inner mild that appears magical, or like an individual equipped a dolphin with a lightbulb within, reckoning on how inspired you're through a sparkling dolphin. The team doesn’t have time to benefit from the sight, as the gentle speedy dims because the mysterious cetacean is going stomach up in its tank. Dr. Beverly Crusher was once too restricted in her wisdom of this species to save lots of its existence. Now they need to provide it a deferential funerary carrier, the place will probably be wrapped in newspaper, put in a pod earlier than the odor kicks in, after which shot into house. Dr. Crusher indicates the captain that her assessments at the alien show it used to be no actual dolphin, which isn’t a shock, seeing because it used to be “swimming” within the warp box round the send (a general dolphin wouldn’t final thirty seconds within the harsh vacuum of space). at the sub-atomic point, it simply doesn’t adhere to the actual houses of truth; it’s a kind of quantum dolphin. simply as Picard is agreeing that this is often particularly bizarre, either he and the dolphin physique disappear from the room in a flash of sunshine. Beverly throws her fingers up in annoyance: she’s so unwell of individuals disappearing from the send in a flash of sunshine. It occurs with Q, it occurs with time tourists, it occurs with ghost entities . . . anyone must work out how one can tweak the rattling shields to forestall this as soon as and for all. Swirling in pink fog illuminated by means of unsettling crimson gentle, Picard reveals himself among universes, floating within the coral court of the quantum dolphins; he’s on trial for the homicide in their buddy who used to be struck through the company. The dolphin prosecutor and choose are either actual jerks—they make enjoyable of Picard’s “wiggly squiggle palms” and his loss of fins. His trial is decided for later that day, after the dolphins get a few playtime in. This isn’t the 1st, or the second one, or maybe the 3rd time the captain has needed to navigate an unsympathetic alien court docket, that is why he retains a security speech pre-written for simply such an get together. He pulls it out, plays a number of quickly edits to slot it to the location, then makes a psychological be aware to inform Starfleet Academy there can be a category on hostile alien courtrooms. Playtime is over: dolphin court docket is in consultation. The prosecutor and choose haven’t gotten any nicer; they faux to be inspired that Picard desires to signify himself, yet then one in every of them slaps his protection speech out of his fingers, and the opposite blows soapy water in his eyes.

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